Ladies, arise!

At the start of Judges 4, we see how the Israelites had been under oppression for 20 years, (imagine that)? Under the hand of King Jabin and the commander of his army – Sisera.

One day, Deborah, a prophet and judge of Israel, called for Barak, the leader of Israel’s army and she says “The Lord God of Israel, says gather 10,000 men, and I will give you victory over Sisera!” So Barak replies, “okay, but only if you go with me.” To which she agreed, adding “I will surely go with you; nevertheless there will be no glory for you in the journey you are taking, for the Lord will sell Sisera into the hand of a woman.”

And off they went, Barak and his 10,000 warriors, against Sisera, his 900 chariots of iron, and all of his army. The Lord put Sisera and his army into panic, so Sisera jumped down from his chariot, and escaped. Barak and his men continued to battle and not a single one of Sisera’s men was left alive!

Meanwhile, Sisera came across the tent of Jael, (the wife of Heber) and she went out to greet him… “Come into my tent sir, don’t be afraid”… She made him comfortable and gave him a blanket. He told her he was thirsty, so she gave him some milk… He told her to keep watch and deny him being there if anyone asked, she agreed. She provided the enemy a roof, quenched his thirst and gave him comfort, and protection.

But the minute he fell asleep, she picked up a tent peg, and drove it through his temple to his death! And just like that, Deborah’s prophecy came to pass.

From this story, there are a few things I’d like to elaborate on. The first being, that Jael deceived Sisera – normally, the enemy is the one trying to deceive us, it says in 1 Peter 5:8 “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” But in our text, we see Jael well and truly deceive the enemy! She knew exactly who he was when he approached the tent, she welcomed him in, only to kill him.

Do you welcome the enemy into your tent to befriend him? Or do you set out to destroy him?

The second thing I’d like to bring to attention, is the fact that Barak, being the leader of an army, was someone who wouldn’t defeat the opposing army commander and the Lord made this clear through Deborah’s prophecy. In the scripture, we see that Barak defeated every single one of Sisera’s men, but not Sisera himself. He allowed Sisera to sneak off unnoticed whilst he defeated the rest of the men. And then after he finished defeating the rest of his army, he went to pursue him… it was too late… Jael said “come and I’ll show you the man you’re looking for” and there he was, already dead, already defeated! He could have been the one to defeat Sisera, but he took his eyes from him. He took his focus off the main goal. Do you want to someone to prophecy over you saying… “this thing will happen… but you won’t get the credit for it… it’ll be someone else!”

Do you take down the enemy in your life? Or just the things that stem from it?

The final thing being, that it was a woman, who took down the armies commander chief, she wasn’t a big strong soldier. She didn’t have back up. It was just her, one woman, doing what women know to do best, offer a home, offer comfort, offer provisions, and it led to her defeating one man that Barak and his 10,000 men couldn’t do!

And I say to all the women reading this, arise! Keep watch at your tent door, God wants to use you, mighty warrior, you might be one woman, but you serve a strong, mighty God! And he wants to use you to defeat the enemy! He wants to use you to end oppression, he wants to use you, to show all men out there that all it can take is one woman! And I won’t encourage you to pick up a hammer and a tent peg, but I’ll encourage you to pick up your sword and your shield!

Sometimes a servant, sometimes a king!

In the book of 1 Samuel 8, we see the Israelites wanting a king to rule over their nation, just like the neighbouring nations. Samuel went to God, who said “fine, but make sure you warn them about how a king will reign” and so Samuel warned them, they refused to listen, to which God said, “do as they say, and give them a king!”

And so now we continue reading into the next chapter, and we see Saul, ‘the most handsome man of Israel’ whose dad was a wealthy and influential man, and so in the worlds perspective, Saul had made it, he had the looks, the success, the money, but did he have his destiny?

One day, Saul’s father Kish had lost his donkeys and so he said, “take one of your servants with you, and go and look for the donkeys” and so Saul took one of the servants. It doesn’t say which servant he chose, or why he chose this servant in particular; maybe he had served his family a long time, maybe he was good company, maybe he was a really hard worker – but what we do know, is that choosing him on that specific day, walked him straight into his God given destiny!

So Saul and the servant go on the hunt for these lost donkeys, and they couldn’t find them, so Saul said “right, let’s go home, or my Father will be worried… The servant could have said, “okay then, let’s go.” But instead, he replied, “I’ve just had a thought of something.” I don’t know about you; but I’m a firm believer that we don’t just ‘think of things’ it’s something that was deposited into our heart straight from God. The servant continued, “there is man of God who lives here in this town, he is held in high honor by all of the people because everything he says comes true. Let’s go and find him. Perhaps he can tell us which way to go.”

• The servant heard from God for direction, when Saul didn’t
• The servant stood in the gap and had faith in the prophet of God on behalf of Saul
• The servant had obedience to follow his heart, when Saul was ready to go home
• The servant shared the burden of looking for the lost donkeys
• The servant encouraged Saul to try one last thing before going home

Saul still tried to make excuses, “we don’t have anything to offer him, even our food is gone. We don’t have a thing to give to him.” And the servant replied, “well, I have one small silver piece” even though Saul was the son of a wealthy man, he was wealthy himself, the servant was working for him on that day, he was still willing to offer all that he had, so that Saul could go and find out more information on the lost donkeys.

Meanwhile, whilst Saul and the servant were on their way to find Samuel, Samuel had already heard from God, regarding Saul, being the chosen one, anointed to be leader of Israel- the first king!

“When they reached the edge of town, Samuel told Saul to send his servant on ahead. After the servant was gone, Samuel said, “Stay here, for I have received a special message for you from God.” (1 Samuel‬ ‭9‬:‭27‬) And just like that the servant was sent ahead, used for a moment, used to change a destiny, gave up his last silver piece, and gained nothing except for a fancy meal with some special guests and the satisfaction of knowing he helped somebody walk towards his destiny!

I titled this post, “sometimes a servant, sometimes a king” and that’s because through our lives, we will at some point, be the servant, leading someone towards their destiny, and at other times, we will have someone guiding us towards ours. But the important part is, who you choose to take on that journey. Not everyone, will be able to hear God on our behalf, not everyone will be humble enough, to let us surpass them, not everyone would be willing to give up their last coin in order for us to receive all God has in store for us- to just walk away without even so much as a thanks.

Sometimes serving people, costs us, it takes our time, our energy, our last coin, but what is so important to remember, is that we don’t get the glory, because God gets it all. Saul became king of Israel, because of his faithful, obedient, humble servant, who acted on prophetic insight – in Gods perfect timing!

Who are you being guided by? And who are you guiding?

What are you offering from your heart with your sacrifice?

Something I would like to share, was the encounter Zechariah had with God. That day, he was chosen by lot , to enter the sanctuary and burn the incense. After doing research on what this meant “to be chosen by lot” – it is said, in those days, for there to have been approximately 18,000 priests ordained, and each day someone got chosen by lot to go into the sanctuary and burn the incense on the altar. Because there was so many priests, it’s said that this would be a once in a lifetime time experience in order for everyone to get a chance. They would go into the sanctuary, burn the incense and probably bow down a knee whilst they waited for it to burn, and whilst the crowd outside prayed. What made this story stand out to me rather than it just being a normal routine of going into the sanctuary and rather than it being a man having an encounter with an angel, was the fact that it mentioned before the story began, that “Zechariah and Elizabeth were righteous in Gods eyes, careful to obey all of the Lord’s commandments and regulations” and you always know, if the bible is mentioning their obedience, there’s a significance of it; the same way that it is mentioned in Acts that Cornelius was a “generous man, and prayed to God regularly” before he received a visitation from an Angel telling him that his prayers were heard in heaven.

In this story of Zechariah, his wife hadn’t had children and now was too old, but they both continued to be faithful. And so when it was his turn for his once in a life time experience to go and burn incense, where most of the priests probably went in, bowed before the altar, and came out again. Zechariah had a powerful encounter with an angel who prophesied over the birth of a baby and who he would become, that baby being John the Baptist! Even the crowd outside was confused as to why he was in there so long.

And I think that goes to show such a powerful story of what being faithful, and committed to God really does in our lives. That when we go and participate in religious acts, (in those days, offering sacrifices, in these days, maybe going to church every Sunday), then that’s all it is, a religious act. But it’s living a righteous and faithful life according to Gods will; that alongside that religious act; that God will accept our sacrifice and give us so much more. In this situation, Zechariah and his wife were given a child, even when it seemed absolutely impossible! And God can give us so much more, but we must remain righteous in Gods eyes and obey all of the Lords commandments!

There can be pain with delay!

In the book of 1 Samuel, we read that Hannah had not yet become a mother; something she desired more than anything else in this world – and if that wasn’t it, she suffered years of taunting from her husbands other wife because she was baron. She would be reduced to tears and had a loss of appetite. Some would even say, that she was suffering from depression. When she cried out for help, she was unsupported, even by her husband, “why are you crying?” he said, as an act of support, completely undone with the statement that followed, “you have me – isn’t that better than having ten sons?” Unsupported and misunderstood.

Although she was struggling, although she was discouraged, although she was stuck in this cycle of depression, she decided to press in and she prayed to the Lord. It may have been with a heavy heart, it may have been with bitterness, it may have even been without words, but she lay it all before Him. When you are feeling discouraged, fed up, angry, or disappointed – do you turn away from God, or do you turn to Him?

During the waiting period, there can be things that can torment us. In Hannah’s case, it was the other wife Peninnah, it says that she would make fun of Hannah because she had no children, and every single year as they went down to the Tabernacle, she would remind her of the fact she was the one who gave their husband children. Maybe Peninnah was jealous, perhaps Elkanah loved Hannah more and Penninah couldn’t understand why, when she was the one who bore the children. Maybe the enemy is tormenting you in the same way – reminding you that you too, haven’t yet had the child you so much desire, you’re not yet married, or that you haven’t yet got that house you are dreaming of. But in those moments of taunting – who do you turn to?

It says in 1 Samuel 1:9-12,.. “Once after a sacrificial meal at Shiloh, Hannah got up and went to pray, Hannah was in deep anguish, crying bitterly as she prayed to the Lord, and she made this vow “O Lord of Heaven’s Armies, if you look upon my sorrow and answer my prayer and give me a son, then I will give him back to you and he will be yours for his entire lifetime”.

After reading this part of text, I’d like to highlight a few things.

The first thing being, that Hannah, feeling the way she did, could have done a number of things – she could have continued to weep, carrying on the cycle every year of being taunted, crying and not being able to eat – she could have lashed out at Penninah for treating her the way she did – she could have reacted to her husband for not being the support system that she so much deserved – she could have completely given up. I’m sure that if she did any of those things – we could have completely understood why. Maybe you’ve been there yourself – Maybe you’re even there now?

But what Hannah did, she went to the Lord. And this changed the trajectory of her whole life.

The second thing I’d like to highlight, was that she went before the Lord in deep anguish, with bitter tears streaming down her face – she says to the priest “I am very discouraged and I was pouring my heart out to the Lord.” She went to God, completely as she was – knowing that he would accept this version of herself – knowing that it would be offered as a sacrifice – hiding nothing. Sometimes when we go to God, we can pray with a false identity of ‘I’m okay’ ‘I trust you Lord’ ‘I know that this is your plan’ when inside we’re feeling something completely different. When we go before God, we must come as we are, and surrender all of us, not just the things that sound ‘holy.’

Lastly – Hannah, entered into covenant prayer, with God. She didn’t enter a time of prayer saying “Lord, take away this pain”, “Lord, I don’t believe that you can do this for me” she made a vow, knowing that He was able and she said – “Lord, if you give me this son, I promise that he will be yours.”. Often, we can go to God and say “God, I want this, God please do that, God open this door, God close that door”, but what do we offer him? Do we want to take, take, take, or do we want to give back? The very thing that Hannah desired, from the depths of her heart, she was willing to give back to the Lord. 

• What are you able to vow to the Father?
• What are you willing to consecrate?
• How much time are you prepared to wait?
• The very thing that you are asking God for, would you be willing to give it back to Him?

After fully surrendering herself – we see Hannah have a conversation with Eli the Priest who said “go in peace, may the God of Israel grant the request you have asked of Him.” She didn’t reply “I can’t have peace, God isn’t going to grant the request, I am still so discouraged, if he will, then WHEN?????” She replied “Oh, thank you, sir!” Then she went back and began to eat again and was no longer sad. She was no, longer, sad! By her saying thank you, was her acknowledging that she had faith, that God will grant her request, in his timing. And the next day, her and her family spent time in worship.

“But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles. They shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” – Isaiah 40:31
This scripture says those who ‘wait on the Lord’ shall renew their strength. Hannah waited on the Lord and she was able to leave the tabernacle that day, with a renewed strength, a clear mind and a pure heart. Restoration in her belief that she will bear a child.

“In due time, she gave birth to a son.” And in 1 Samuel 2 we learn that Hannah went on to have five more children. Gods timing is so perfect, but when we are in the waiting period – waiting for God to open the door, we struggle to see that. Samuel was born, in perfect timing, he was born in a time where he would grow, to help establish the monarchy in Israel and was used mightily by God as a leader and a prophet – if he wasn’t born when he was, the destiny of many would have been different – even Jesus’ who came down the lineage of King David. Sometimes our waiting – is because other peoples destinies are attached to it. The child you are waiting for, might have a destiny that isn’t appointed for a time such as now.

If you’re waiting for something and you’re waiting with a heavy heart, a disappointed heart – you feel alone and understood… Then turn to our Lord and saviour. Surrender your fears, your pain, your discouragement and he will renew your strength. “We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.” – Hebrews 6:14

“Sir, do you remember me? Hannah asked. “I am the very woman who stood here several years ago praying to the Lord. I asked the Lord to give me this boy and he granted my request. Now I am going to give him to the Lord and he will belong to the Lord his whole life. And they worshipped the Lord there.” – 1 Samuel 1: 26-28.

Are you ready to cross over?

It says in Gods word, “so if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed,” and so, religiously, we think that because of this – when we are saved, we are completely set free, healed and delivered. Which to some extent, we are. We have been saved from the hands of satan and been adopted into the sonship of Christ to spend a lifetime in eternity.

Moses was a powerful man of God, it states in the bible that there has never been a prophet in Israel like him, ‘who the Lord knew, face to face’. He was a leader of the people and had an intimate relationship with Christ. However, no matter what he did to rescue Gods people from Egypt, no matter how close he came to the Father, he still didn’t access the fullness of what God had in store for him. Before he died, the Lord took him up to the mountain of Nebo and spoke these words, “this is the land I promised on oath to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob when I said “I will give it to your descendants.” I have now allowed you to see it with your own eyes, but you will not enter the land.” (Deut 34:4)

Before Moses died, God pointed out to him the full freedom that was available, from Gilead all the way to Zoar, but for him, it was too late! We then see in the next book of the bible, Joshua took Moses’ place and God raised him up to take his people into the land that was promised to the descendants of Abraham.

• Will you die, never knowing all that God had in store for you?
• Or will you rise up and cross over to everything that God has promised you?

“He brought us to this place and gave us this land flowing with milk and honey”
– Deuteronomy 26:9

The Israelites thought they were free. They were content in a sense of, anything was better than being held in captivity in Egypt. Walking round and round in circles in the wilderness, was far better than the hardship, toil and oppression they faced in their previous season, and maybe you feel the same way?

Your past life, before Christ, may have been so devastating, that you may feel that you have walked into the complete fullness of what God has in store for you, because there is a glimmer of light flickering where there was once only darkness. You escaped from the bondage of the slavery and think that you’re free because you’re no longer bound by the chains once keeping you in captivity. There may have been eight chains, and one has been broken, so you feel satisfied because you are one chain free more than you were before. Maybe all eight chains have been broken, but you’re too comfortable in your victim mentality that you decide to keep hold of them and you’ve not yet shaken the weight of them off your body.

You may have escaped the captivity of spending an eternity in fire, escaped the captivity of bad relationships, escaped the captivity of not being conscious over your conscience and being stuck in sin cycles rather than just ‘falling short’ and ‘missing the mark’. BUT you’re stuck. You’re stuck in the wilderness. You’re stuck in contentment and you’re longing for more. The Israelites knew there was more on offer, they knew the promise of the land flowing with milk and honey and so some of you reading may even know that there is more in store for you. You’re hungry. You’re thirsty. You’re unfulfilled. But in your mind, you’re free! And by being free, it keeps you bound!

Let me remind you of something, there IS a land that is flowing with milk and honey. Promised to you and I. And there was a generation of Israelites that completely missed out on the promise, (Moses even got to view what was in store before he died), but they chose to be stuck in the fulfilment of being free.

But as I was dwelling on this word I heard the Lord say, “I have more for you”. And as we step into 2024, know that the Lord has more in store for you. He says in his word, “I came, so that you can have life, and life in abundance” so don’t be stuck in the satisfaction of comfortability.

Sometimes, crossing over looks scary, but in Deuteronomy 31, it says, “so be strong and courageous, do not be afraid, for the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will never abandon you.” So no matter how scary it looks to cross over; to jump in the river of grief, to step into the water of depression, to fall into the wetness of your past traumas, you can know that awaiting you on the other side is a loving Father with open arms, promising you and the generations to follow, a vast land, flowing with milk and honey. Will you accept that there is hope for you, cross over and fall into the arms of a warm embrace? Or will you get stuck in the wilderness wishing there was more?

I’m here to declare that there IS more for you.

Are you ready to go on this journey?

The same way that Joshua and Caleb came along and said, we are not going to live in the wilderness that our ancestors did, we are going to break through, you and I are going to break through this year! We are going to claim the blessing that God has promised us. We are going to claim the joy that God promised us, we are going to receive the freedom God promised us. Not a land flowing with manna, but a land flowing with milk and honey.

So be honest with yourself and with God today, and ask the questions –

• What are some areas of my life where I am still bound?
• What do I rely on, instead of relying on Christ?
• Do I mirror Christ in every area?

And make it your goal in 2024, that you will break free from the incarnation of religious ways and walk into the captivity of Christ, which is freedom that is unlike any other. Joshua did something the generation before him were unable to do. So in the same manner, go and do something your friends and family are afraid of – cross over the river – stretch forth your hand and take them with you!

God split the river Jordan so that Joshua could pass through – he didn’t split it for Moses. Moses only knew how to break out and not break through. Jesus already broke out for us, he took every single iniquity to the cross, so now it’s our responsibility to find out how to break free, with God’s help and take every single person we meet, with us! And if we end 2024, a better person that we are now, closer to Christ than we are today, mirroring Him more than we do now, we will have succeeded in being more free than we are today!

But let us not aim to be better, let us aim to be free.

Put down your spoon!

“For it was I, the Lord your God, who rescued you from the land of Egypt. Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it with good things.” Psalms 81:10 NLT

Going through life, we get so frustrated, wondering how we will get the things we want, we get so impatient in the waiting that sometimes it leads us to turning to the wrong things.

If a child was eating their dinner, but then someone offers them a sweet, if they hadn’t already given in and eaten the sweet, they would then spend the rest of their dinner, distracted, desperate to get this sweet, taking the focus off the important thing- that will give them their nutrition, that will fulfil their hunger.

As I was thinking about this scripture, and our mouths being filled, I was reminded of a baby being fed. When it’s been fed by it’s mum and dad, they’re happy to open their mouth and accept the food, but when it’s a stranger they turn their head and reject the food. What about when God gives you food?

As I am writing this I hear the spirit of the Lord saying “stop trying to take the spoon and feed yourself, just open your mouth, and I will do it for you.”

We often think that if we don’t take control, we won’t get what we want, we won’t get what we need or it won’t be as quick as we want it. But the Lord says “you WILL still be fed, you just need to open your mouth, and I will feed you. My word doesn’t say… open your mouth and fill it… it says open your mouth and I will fill it with good things…. As I promised the descendants of Abraham a land flowing with milk and honey, I offer you this spoonful, also overflowing with milk and honey.

A spoon full of promises, a spoon full of provisions, a spoon full of love, a spoon full of wisdom.”

I also hear the spirit of the Lord saying, “if you want to feed yourself, how many spoons will it take? Because when I offer you my spoon, you’ll get all you need in one take!”

How many more spoons will it take for you to feed yourself, before you realise that the spoon from the Lord is all you need ?

Put down your spoon and open wide!

“He will yet fill your mouth with laughing, And your lips with rejoicing.”

Job 8:21 NKJV

“Then the Lord put forth His hand and touched my mouth, and the Lord said to me: “Behold, I have put My words in your mouth.”

Jeremiah 1:9 NKJV

“So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him.”

Luke 11:13 NLT

Prayer:

Father God, I pray over every single person that reads this. I pray that they open their mouths only to you, to receive all you have in store for them and I pray for patience in the waiting. I pray that as they’re sitting at your feet they learn to open their mouths to you. I pray that they turn their heads away from the lies of the enemy , the things that seem sweeter, the things that look like they will taste nicer, and that they open their mouths only to take in the things that you offer them that in the long run; will truly benefit them! Father God, I pray that as this act of obedience is followed out, that you will pour in your promises, your provisions, your words, your wisdom and everything else you promise each and every single one of your children! Thank you Father for your word- thank you for your faithfulness- IJN Amen!

When Jesus steps in – resurrection will come!

Lazarus remained dead, until Jesus stepped in.

Sometimes we go through situations, that we feel like are at the point of no return. Where we feel like we have nothing more to give. Situations that already feel dead.

Mary and Martha went to Jesus and said their brother was sick. Jesus could have healed him right away, but instead he stayed where we was for two more days. Lazarus was one of Jesus’ closest friends and Jesus loved him and his sisters. Surely out of anyone he healed in his lifetime, he’d want to heal Lazarus – But he knew God had better plans.

“But when Jesus heard about it he said, “Lazarus’s sickness will not end in death. No, it happened for the glory of God so that the Son of God will receive glory from this.””
‭‭John‬ ‭11:4‬ ‭NLT‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/116/jhn.11.4.NLT

Jesus didnt heal the sickness, he let Lazarus go through the sickness so that a powerful miracle could happen and God could be glorified. Sometimes God will watch us go through a situation and not do anything because we need to be shaped and moulded so that transformation can come and God will be glorified.

When Jesus arrived at Bethany, he was told that Lazarus had already been dead for four days. In V21, we see Martha say to Jesus “Lord, if only you’d been here, my brother wouldn’t have died,” but Martha had missed the point completely. She had complete faith in Jesus, that he had the power to heal her brother, but she completely forgot the previous conversation where Jesus had said that his sickness will not end in death. She had given up hope of seeing her brother alive again.

We find ourselves in similar situations , where we have faith that God can heal, but we give up hope of seeing our situations fixed, restored, resurrected!

“Jesus told her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying. Everyone who lives in me and believes in me will never ever die. Do you believe this, Martha?””
‭‭John‬ ‭11:25-26‬ ‭NLT‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/116/John.11.25-26.NLT

Lazarus had been dead 4 days.

It doesn’t matter how dead your situation is, how long it’s been going on for. When Jesus enters the situation even the dead can come back to life! It might not happen instantly, remember Jesus sat and waited two days before he went to Lazarus- but in the end he was brought back to life.

💛Your marriage may be broken
❤️You may be experiencing infertility
💛You may be in bondage with addictions
❤️You may be struggling with grief
💛Your depression may be never ending

Whatever your situation – when Jesus steps in – Resurrection will come!

#christianblog #christianblogger #christianUk #christianmum #christianwife #jesuslover

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God isn’t finished with you yet!

You may be going through something, that you feel like you’ve been going through for some time. Tears… Anger… Heartache… Loneliness.

God said // “those who plant harvests in tears, will reap in shouts of joy”. Maybe this is what you needed to hear today in order to continue on your journey that you feel like you have nothing more to give. It can often feel that through these times of darkness, that God is no where to be seen; but the endless tears that you have cried in private are seen by God. He is aware of every tear that you have cried and he has captured them in a bottle.

“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭56:8‬ ‭NLT‬‬
https://bible.com/bible/116/psa.56.8.NLT

God is near our hurt. He is near to the broken hearted. Even if other people don’t validate how we feel. God does. Not one single drop of water that falls from our eye is wasted. He doesn’t dismiss how we feel, he doesn’t acknowledge it and run away. He doesn’t withdraw from us when things get hard. He takes every single tear and he writes them in His book. Personal. Intimate.

You may be healing from childhood trauma. You may be cutting off ties from a relationship you knew was no good for you. You may be on the road to recovery from a deep betrayal. You may be carrying so much weight on your shoulder you feel like you can no longer go on; but whatever your situation, there will be joy in the end.

Let this be a gentle reminder to you, that our God is with us through our situations. God will use your long suffering for good.

Jesus loves you ❤️🙏

I’m currently sat here; admist the mess. I’m just taking some time to let it go, to let the anxiety settle!

The dishes are piled all over the kitchen side. The bin needs emptying. There are toys everywhere. The recycling needs taking out. There is copious amounts of food stuck to the carpet. The washing basket is overflowing. The hoover is in the middle of the floor after dear husband attempted to hoover up and had to sit down again as he was busy (playing Fifa)! Adalines room, well, that’s a different story; today, it’s got a serious case of “a bombs hit it.”

We used to use the cot as storage. For all the clean washing we couldn’t be bothered to put away. Now that Adaline has a big girl bed, the piano has taken its place. (This by the way, was here for “I’m going to learn whilst on maternity leave”) (along with all the cake recipe books… I planned on learning to bake whilst on maternity leave- but instead they are just  gathering dust!)

Our expectations as a mother, or a wife, even just as a woman, is to tidy, to cook, to run the household, whilst juggling a toddler. (Or two if you include the husband)! But Sometimes it gets a little bit too much… Especially in strange times like this lockdown… It’s something we are completely not used to.

So let me tell you something…

You’re not failing as a mother, you’re just failing the worlds expectations. But that’s okay. There are going to be seasons like this, they will come and they will go. But stay strong! Let go of the feeling of “the house is a mess” and just carry on; if you don’t have the time, do what you can, bit by bit and most importantly, continue to love your children and husband!

 

❤ Being a parent has no instruction manual ❤

The title is literally speaking. Babies have no instruction manuals. Absolutely zilch. It’s funny, that there are so many baby books, developmental information, advice from every single person in the world – but nobody at all can prepare you for the moment when you hold that tiny baby in your arms for the first time. That is your baby. Not a baby from the books, not a baby who’s going to follow a structured developmental programme, not a baby who’s been raised by the person trying to give you advice. Okay these things are guidelines we can follow, but why? Only you will know your baby and what it wants / needs at all of the given times.

Becoming a parent doesn’t come naturally to some people, but I was blessed for it to come so naturally. From the moment I held Adaline in my arms – we had such a natural bond and day by day it grows stronger. I just knew how to things and when to do them. (Once I had learnt the queues, obviously. On the first night all she did was cry and I couldn’t understand why and realised that I hadn’t been bumping her after feeds, duh!)

For some bizarre reason, when I was pregnant, I thought parenting would be easy, and I remember a few days after Adaline was born, I was thinking to myself “what on earth was I thinking?” Although parenting did come naturally, it was, and still is, the most challenging, hardest, exhausting, thing that I have done, but is also the most rewarding, joyful and blessed thing that I didn’t even know was possible.

• No-one can prepare you for the overwhelming feeling you get when you hold your baby for the first time.
• No-one can prepare you for the first night when you take your baby home. We got home from the hospital at around 12am and as it had been hot in the day, our room temperature was about 25 degrees, knowing that a baby should be in 16-18 degrees I started to panic, Running around the flat wafting about to try and create some cold air, opening all of the windows. Why I didn’t have a fan, knowing we’d be bringing home a baby, I don’t know!

• No-one can prepare you for the moment you’d be so proud because you’d pumped 80ml of milk on day three and then spilling it everywhere and being absolutely heartbroken.
• No-one can prepare you for the poonamis that happen, the absoloute poo explosions, especially when you are out and you forget your changing mat, and baby wipes.
  You think you’d learn your lesson, but then you do it again, and again.

• No-one can prepare you for when they’re going through their awful, demanding, and draining developmental leaps, or sleep regressions.
• No-one can prepare you for their first cold – when you’re checking they are breathing every 5 minutes, when their noses are so blocked they struggle to feed, when you have no idea what else to try so you resort to sucking the snot out of their little nostrils (although before having a baby the idea of this completely disgusted me!)
• No-one can prepare you for the day when you have to go back to work, when you’re apart from your baby for a whole day, constantly checking up on them, and feeling lost without them!
• No-one can prepare you for when you’re breast feeding in public and your boob starts to spray milk up in the air or when you’re back at work and milk starts spraying through your top!
• No-one can prepare you for all of the developmental milestones, and the feeling you get when you are so proud, when you are in awe of what they are learning!
• No-one can prepare you for the overwhelming moments when you just take it all in, that this little human being, is yours, a creation that you made.
• No-one can prepare you for the bowls being tipped up on your hoovered carpets, spoons being thrown onto your freshly mopped floors, stains on the brand new clothes that you just bought!
• No-one can prepare you for the days when your house is an absolute tip, and you are needing to do literally every single thing in the world, but the baby doesn’t want to be put down, you finally manage to get everything done, and within a few days, it’s back, and you wonder why you even bothered to do it all in the first place!
• No-one can prepare you for the moment they learn to crawl / walk / ! CLIMB !
  H I D E    E V E R Y T H I N G 
• No-one can prepare you for the days when you just feel like you’re failing (which you certainly are not by the way, you have got this mama!)

To conclude; parenting is no easy walk in the park. It comes with many challenges, many experiences and many disasters, but we learn as we go, and we cherish every moment.❤